By BubblesxJanuary 4, in Sex and Romance. When I first came across them, I approached him.
He played stupid at first then admitted only to hooking up with men thru CL before we dated and said he must have been black out drunk when he posted the others because he had NO recollection. He swore up and down to me that he never cheated, and I left it be and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I even went so far as to tell him that if he is having these kinds of subconscious urges we can explore them together. Then, a couple days ago, while he was sleeping I found another on his phone, and what else do I find but MORE s to men with him seeking BJs - responses to the posts I originally found and then some.
s giving his approximate location, pictures of him, "be discrete, my gf can't know", etc.
I was sickened. I shook him awake out of his drunken stupor and he denied denied denied, ripped the phone from my hand and through a fit. I begged for the truth or I told him I'd tell the world his secret I wouldn't really, but I think I truly deserved the truth! He kept denying anything ever happened. Long story short ishthings got really bad and scary.
I called my brother and told him everything. I was so furious and hurt I told my bf's friends everything so he had nowhere to hide. The next day he apologized up and down, asked to speak in person and admitted he had gotten head from 5 different men throughout our relationship. I'm so lost and hurt and sickened -- I had NO idea.
He seemed so loyal. He says he isn't gay, and isn't truly attracted to men.
He thinks it may be rooted in him being molested as -- something he never told anyone before. I'm trying to make sense of all this. He says he's going to stop drinking, get psychological help and get to the root of the issue.
I made him pack up his stuff and leave our apartment. But I'm lost, I'm sad, and I still love him. Writing this I know this story is crazy and inexcusable. I want to think he can change if he truly truly wants it, and I really think he does. But where does this leave me? What can I do? Thanks all.
I feel the same about my guy. So much so I would never be inclined to look for him anywhere for that matter. No doubt the breakup is difficult and things such as this makes us feel a little nutty.
But NO, you do not return to this relationship! He denied it only until you had proof. Only now does he say he's willing to do something about. This is only an attempt to relieve his own discomfort. If he really cared about the relationship he would have fixed this long ago.
Get tested for stds. Stop buying into any excuses. It doesn't matter if he's on the down low or whatever bull he's feeding you.
Excellent you Craigslist Hoover sex him out. He will go through the motions, but that much intense deception will not just end. He will just get better at hiding his cruising and drinking. Will you ever really feel comfortable with this?
He is cheating on you with men he doesn't know from CL He is troubled and needs professional help to get himself straightened out. You will need couples therapy as well if you're going to take him back which you shouldn't do without him getting into therapy. You would also do well to get therapy to find out what is missing in you that you would put up with a guy that gets black out drunk.
That in itself is something that most people wouldn't put up with He has a horrible trauma from childhood and he's an alcoholic. Those two things will over-ride any love he may have for you. Reading about codependency and alcoholism will help you to understand that his actions really have nothing to do with you or how he feels about you.
Sorry this has happened to you. Do NOT reconcile with him until he's been in therapy for at least a year. Don't let him hoover you back while you are vulnerable and missing him. Don't enable him to remain in his present state by accepting him back status quo. I don't think your nuts for wanting to help. It's rough to see someone you love struggle so much.
He has a lot to deal with if he honestly wants to put energy into healing. But you need to heal too. This dude lied to you and was disrespectful to you and hurt your trust. He has a lot of things to work through an if he goes through with therapy and stops drinking then you've already helped him a lot.
Don't put all your energy into someone who isn't ready for a relationship. Because this guy isn't ready. By junebug Started Wednesday at PM. By adee07 Started Tuesday at PM. By katmisj Started Tuesday at AM. Your Wingmam posted a blog entry in YoutubeNovember 3.
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Bubblesx Posted January 4, Posted January 4, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options You must have sensed something or why would you have searched for him? Nuts for wanted to take him back? Well, I am sure that's how you might feel right now. Too little, too late. Besides, he prefers dudes. Not women. Came back to add: get tested for stds, please.
Wiseman2 Posted January 4, ThatwasThen Posted January 4, He was molested as He is a 'blackout' drunk He is cheating on you with men he doesn't know from CL The thread has run its course, closed. ZIP: 35216 35244 35242 35080 35226 35236 35260